Damn it

Damn it
That’s what I say
Every time I look at my life
Every time I see my face
Damn it
Stuck is this self-imposed rut
Unwilling to move forward
Unwilling to make a change
Damn it
Dying to be free yet scared to let go
Suffering for no reason
Suffering from the truth
Damn it
Why must I make my life this way
Trapped within myself
Trapped in this never ending nightmare
Damn it
And all I can say is damn it
Damn who I am
Damn what I have become
Damn it
Damn it all
Damn it forever
Damn the monster I have created
And still all I can say is damn it
Damn everything
Damn…..me.

Lines In the Sand

Shattered lives of an unlived fantasy.
I hear the breeze, but cannot feel the warmth.
Flowers bloom, but do not smile.
Lost at sea, I drift awhile.

Life goes by, yet I remain the same.
The beast within, I cannot tame.

A hidden world you cannot see.
One moment in time.
A lifetime to me.

I smell your hair, yet you’re not there.
Sweetness left empty.
I live in despair.

Memories and dreams.
What is real?
A life of fantasy not revealed.

Still I go on.
A broken man.
Peaceful journey?
Or just lines in the sand.

Contemplation

Life falls apart, like leaves from a tree.

Time runs away, yet I stand still.

I look in the mirror, but do not recognize my own face.

Who is the man in the mirror?

What have I become?

I am but a boy trapped in an aging man’s body.

I hope for change, but know it will not come.

Fate is what you make it, so I’ve been told.

I know my fate, but hide it from others.

A warm smile, a soft laugh.

Both help me hide my fate behind a mask.

Will anyone stop to look behind the mask, or will fate run its course?

Why do you?

Why do you hurt me?
Why do I cry?

You don’t deserve me.
Why must you lie?

Gone with the wind.
My spirit and soul.

Dying to be free.
Can’t let you go.

Why can’t you love me?
Why do I still care?

Can’t bear the pain.
Why is life so unfair?

Kiss of life/death

Soft
Warm
Arousing
Firm
Passionate
Long
Sweet
Fading
Cool

OVER

Never Enough Money

Why does money rule the world? All day, every day, everyone of us struggles to make more and more money, and as soon as we make more we want more. How much money is enough?

I work hard and struggle to get by always waiting for my next raise or promotion. Yet every time I get a little more money some new expense comes along and takes it all away! I am always broke no matter how much money I make.

Does anyone out there know the secret to money? How can I ever make enough so that I don’t have to always worry about it? How do we all get rich?

I am a simple man, I don’t want lavish things. I just want to be comfortable, be able to pay my bills, and not have to worry about unforeseen expenses.

If anyone knows the secret to this, PLEASE do not hesitate to let me know!

On the Outside

Where to begin, I guess with a little background:

As long as I can remember I have had a different view of the world then most people. Not only do I think outside of the box, I completely live outside of it! I have strange thoughts, rare views, and a special point of view. Too often people tell me I think too much, or that I make their brain hurt. What can I say, I am complex and simple all at the same time. I live in a world that doesn't exist, yet society says it does. I watch the world go by full of puppets and wonder why other people don't see the strings. The universe is vast, most people’s worlds are small, minds are narrow, and life is never truly lived. Life goes on, but for me I watch from the outside.