Damn it

Damn it
That’s what I say
Every time I look at my life
Every time I see my face
Damn it
Stuck is this self-imposed rut
Unwilling to move forward
Unwilling to make a change
Damn it
Dying to be free yet scared to let go
Suffering for no reason
Suffering from the truth
Damn it
Why must I make my life this way
Trapped within myself
Trapped in this never ending nightmare
Damn it
And all I can say is damn it
Damn who I am
Damn what I have become
Damn it
Damn it all
Damn it forever
Damn the monster I have created
And still all I can say is damn it
Damn everything
Damn…..me.

Contemplation

Life falls apart, like leaves from a tree.

Time runs away, yet I stand still.

I look in the mirror, but do not recognize my own face.

Who is the man in the mirror?

What have I become?

I am but a boy trapped in an aging man’s body.

I hope for change, but know it will not come.

Fate is what you make it, so I’ve been told.

I know my fate, but hide it from others.

A warm smile, a soft laugh.

Both help me hide my fate behind a mask.

Will anyone stop to look behind the mask, or will fate run its course?