Damn it

Damn it
That’s what I say
Every time I look at my life
Every time I see my face
Damn it
Stuck is this self-imposed rut
Unwilling to move forward
Unwilling to make a change
Damn it
Dying to be free yet scared to let go
Suffering for no reason
Suffering from the truth
Damn it
Why must I make my life this way
Trapped within myself
Trapped in this never ending nightmare
Damn it
And all I can say is damn it
Damn who I am
Damn what I have become
Damn it
Damn it all
Damn it forever
Damn the monster I have created
And still all I can say is damn it
Damn everything
Damn…..me.

Survive

Lost in the moment
Living for today with no sight of tomorrow
A smile on my face hides the pain inside
Short burst of happiness
Hanging onto anything instead of having nothing
Scared, afraid, lonely
Weeks, months, years go bye
Long-term happiness nowhere in sight
I push to go on…

I push to survive